An open letter to the drug-using dipshits

Dear meth-using, no-teeth having, glue-sniffing, crack-pipe hitting, cocaine-abusing alcoholic fucktards,

You substance-abusing assholes are the reason why *I* have to show I.D. and provide my driver's license number when I go into Walgreens to buy cold medicine. I am not going to use my Aleve Cold & Sinus pills to make meth, or break it down into the components for meth. I would just like to be able to breathe at night and not have snot shooting out of my nose all day. I think this is a pretty reasonable expectation. I'd go herbal or homeopathic, but haven't found anything in a decongestant yet.

Since you freaks need to sniff, shoot-up, guzzle anything with any type of stimulant in it, honest folk like me have to put up with being scrutinized because the government is afraid I'm going to take my 2 boxes of cold pills and make illicit drugs with them.

I am not going to make drugs that smell like cat piss, let alone ingest drugs that smell like cat piss and have Drain-o and host of other poisonous shit in them. I'm not in that much of a hurry to lose my teeth and shamble down the streets of Garden City like a methed-out zombie. Fuck that.

And to the government, how much pseudoephedrine do you think I can pull out of those pills? I hate to break it to you, but I don't fall into that popular Asian stereotype of being good at math and science. I fucking hated math and science. I wanted to be an aerospace engineer, then I flunked a math class or two and that dream came crashing back to earth. Me? Then I wanted to be a writer and a photographer -- things I was good at, but definitely fit in with what all the other Asian kids were doing. Cat piss on your stereotypes, bitches. No chem lab in my bathroom, got it? I'm not going to make drugs.

The only stimulants I want are caffeine and that rush you get after ... well, I'm not gonna finish that one since a lot of you know my guy and I don't kiss and tell. But most of you know what I'm talking about. That's it for stimulants for Jen. Caffeine and Scott. Maybe the occasional herbal remedy (but that's a depressant so it doesn't count the same), but that's it. And that's natural. And doesn't smell like cat piss.

The alternative is to stumble around with my head filled with snot, wheezing and shooting gooey projectiles out of my nose. Or, heaven forbid, take a day off because I'm sick and need to get better.

But hey, it's so much fun working when you feel like shit. And are forced to work because you don't have sick days. But that's a Corporation X rant for another day.

Sincerely,
Jen
No. 89628