Quickie

1. Should be asleep right now; must get up in a few hours
2. Life without Corporation X is nice. First week off flew by; last week went a little slower, but I'm under the gun now.
3. Moving
4. Coughing up huge chunks of green crap
5. Moving
6. Start new job Monday
7. Moving
8. Migraine
9. Moving
10. Huge thanks to everyone who's helping with the move: Scott, t4m1, J-Un1t, Kibbee, Steve and Tyler for use of the TikiTrailer. Oh, and hugs and kisses to Sue & Ken for saving my ass with TONS of boxes
11. Must admit, this move isn't as stressful as it could be. I THINK IT'S BECAUSE MOST OF MY SHIT IS STILL IN BOXES. *ahem* But yes, I have a ton o crap, and I have to say, I'm definitely looking forward to being able to sleep on the waterbed and listen to the Bose. It's been way too long.
12. Should be a better update once I've gotten settled and have started the new job. Or something. >_>
13. Fucking tired of being sick. And now the mosquitoes are back...
14. Moving
15. Sick
16. Sleep
17. Now
18. K
19. Thx
20. bye

Catching up

Things have been surprisingly quiet in this space recently. Didn't go on a killing spree, didn't get arrested. But let's cut to the chase.
•••
Dear Corporation X Bean-counter Payroll Maternal Fornicator,

I know you don't give two shits about who I am, or that I've left Corporation X. But I would like to bring a few matters to your attention.

During the last pay period, I worked 92.25 hours. For the one shift I had in the new pay period, I worked 8 hours. How the FUCK do you explain paying me 81.25 hours (or whateverthefuck it was... stub is in the car). You're supposed to know numbers. You should be concerned with accuracy. But no. Just had to try and fuck me over at the end and hope I didn't notice, right?

Fuck you. Pay me.

Speaking of accuracy. I was employed by your ghetto-ass excuse for a company since Jan. 30, 2006 to March 16, 2007. In all that time, not once have you managed to spell my name correctly on my paycheck. I have mentioned this to three trainers, three supervisors and our assistant project manager. I had mentioned this to HR as well, but we all know that's a fucking waste of time.

Honestly. My last name isn't that fucking difficult to spell. It's five motherfucking letters. You assholes got one of them wrong. What. The. Fuck. I know it's not the easiest to pronounce, but you never had to say my name when the computer printed the check. Stupid fucks.

I know the issue will be corrected; the Hardest Working Man at Corporation X is taking care of it. I have no idea what's going to happen when he leaves and you people continue running payroll with cranial-rectal inversions. I feel for the people left behind to deal with your rampant incompetence. But you will pay me. If I have to go to the state labor board, I will get my money.

Fuck you very much.

The number formerly known as 89628

P.S. This is the definition of incompetence.
•••
On a completely unrelated note, I got the top of my wrist tattooed -- the Apple has a friend. I will have to post pics when it's healed, since the seeping/oozing stage started pretty early on this one.

I will be delaying purchase of my Macbook Pro (which was going to happen anyway) to get my phoenix done on my left leg. Jon said it would take quite a bit of time and will be pretty expensive. But I'm excited and I know it will be worth it. It's only taken me 2+ years to decide to really do it. Yay!
•••
In addition to starting a new job, I'll be moving.

Granted, moving sucks, but it will be very worth it to get out of the hovel I've been in. Hospitality has been OK, but there comes a point where you just want things like the shower to work. Or the AC/heater to work.

New location puts me a few blocks from Scott's place. Rent is affordable, I have a ton of space and I know the roommate won't fuck me over like the last dipshit I rented from.

So yeah. I get to pack and sort. And I don't really feel all that overwhelmed this time.

I think it's because most of my shit is still in boxes.

P.S. Taking time off between jobs was the best idea ever. So was filing my taxes early enough so I could have the money to live on!

Geek lust

It started very innocently with the purchase of a CD.



That's Mike Relm. He's opening for Blue Man Group. Very cool shit. I didn't go to the show, but knew enough folks who went who said this dude was awesome. So I had to have the CD.

Then I ordered this, in anticipation of the new computer sometime this summer.



I'm a bit of a nut when it comes to bags. This thing is way bigger than I thought it would be. And it has a *padded* pouch for an iPod. And a little pouch below that for earbuds. Those wacky Brenthaven peeps. Ballistic nylon, an awesome pouch to keep the Powerbook (or Macbook Pro later) safe and sound. And I can remove the pouch and use it like a regular messenger bag. Which I'm going to do.

I don't think I need to show a pic of the iPod. At least I hope not.

But a new iPod means new earbuds. The red version of these caught my eye, but I got a great deal on this color:



Even though there is a recommended burn-in period, they sound pretty fucking outstanding. And by fucking outstanding, I mean I'm hearing things in songs I've listened to hundreds of times. It's really, really scary. The music is inside my head. Divine excrement, I'm turning into an earbud snob. And I think I like it.

As if that wasn't enough to drool over, I couldn't resist and bought this. No, I didn't finish the first one, gawd dammit....



Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to kill shit in my new game and then drown in a puddle of my own geek drool.

w00t!

GAH!

Dear Mr. Redneck Needle-dick Bug Fucker,

You might not think there's anything wrong with leaving your piece o shit truck running while you're at the gas station and fueling. You probably couldn't read the sign that said TURN MOTOR OFF, or the one that said NO SMOKING or the one that said NO CELL PHONES. You probably don't understand the technology that makes the phone ring, let alone how airplanes don't fall out of the sky.

Let me break it down:

FIRE BAD. FIRE VERY VERY BAD.

Now take your craptastic truck (with the plate that reads 1G 44026) and stay the fuck away from GAS STATIONS IN THE CITY.

Thank you.

T minus ...

Just four more days... didn't know if I'd make it this far.

This is one of those deals where I'm closing another chapter of my life. This was the job to get me back on my feet (again) and it did that ... sort of. And I'll be moving again, which I count as a very good thing.

All in all, feeling pretty decent about myself.

Spent some money this weekend -- got the new iPod, bought some CDs, paid some bills. It's a nice feeling, being able to take care of business and have a little money for fun. A novel concept; something I haven't felt for some time.

Should be an entertaining time at Corporation X.

Oh, and I want to see 300 sometime this week. So yeah. Call me or text me.

>_>
<_<

OK?

The Final Countdown

Dammit Max, that fucking song is stuck... bastard...

But hey, when I last joined y'all, I was in a pretty bitchy mood. I was convinced I'd be walking out on my job and cursing TDMH. I'll probably curse him still, but it's amazing what a difference a few days can make.

For starters, the Hardest Working Man at Corporation X won. Which means I win. Which means I can spend my final week helping out. Granted, I'm teamless, which makes me sad. And I'm bummed I won't have as much contact with someone who's become a beloved friend (proving once again I am capable of crying because of chat, dammit). But really, this is pretty close to going out on my terms.

Let the bitterness be gone.

Now the only test: How many agents can I QA in 40 hours? I predict a shit-ton. Like at least 10 per day, if not more. We're required to do 10 a week. Heh.
•••

I've got a few more reasons for my blissful mood. And believe me, Daylight Saving Time has *nothing* to do with it.

For starters, I actually have a little bit of financial stability. Both tax refunds hit Friday at midnight. We got paid Friday, and I got my referral bonus (take that you worthless whore!). And the referral bonus paid for... an 80 GB iPod! Yes, I know new ones are around the corner. Yes, I have the one from work. But you know, every once in awhile you need to do something for you. So I did.

It appears I'll be moving as well. Out of the hovel and into a place that's closer to Scott and should allow me to have (gasp!!) company over. I've been there once, but there was a beer pong table set up and I didn't really take too close of a look.

As if that stuff wasn't enough, I'm applying for a job I really don't think I'm going to get. But if I get it... holy shit. I don't like the term dream job, but really, I have 90% of what they're looking for and I can learn the rest. Or delegate. But I haven't even submitted my portfolio for that yet, so no need for excitement. Even if I don't get it, I've got a solid job waiting for me. And I count moving as a good thing.

And then there was Friday night, which was a hoot even if 1) the drive home was interesting and 2) I didn't feel human until about 3 p.m. today. Yeah. Corp X on a hangover. >_>

And then there's the usual Scott goodness. *sigh*

Let's hear it for free mental time. *rawrr*

Daylight Saving Time can eat a dick. I hate the fact the Powerbook clock went from 1:59 to 3 a.m. Fucking efficient Macs (damn Apple and their software updates!)

56 hours ...

and counting...

Or will it be less? That's still up in the air. However...

Things seem relatively stable for the remainder of this week. Officially, my team will be split and distributed between the other four teams. And through attrition, we really only have enough agents for four teams anyway. If I wasn't leaving, we'd be cutting a supervisor position and sending someone back to the phones.

Today's meeting was better than expected. It was long, I was tired and frankly, ready for anything. But after the venting I did in a blog last night, I felt a little better. Much less anger today, much less frustration.

But something still doesn't feel right.

The flight urge isn't as great. Maybe it's the 4.5 hours of sleep I got last night. The migraine is gone, which is great. It was a relief to wake up and find that gone.

Really, the only thing I can do is take things one day at a time. I seem to have lost sight of that, which is not so good on my part. Reckon I let anger cloud my judgment. But my head feels clear, there's more of a sense of stability, at least for this week. Next week, however...

So what does one do with a supervisor with no team at Corporation X? And really, why break up the team now? Why not wait until next week? Finally, why should I care?

1. Supposedly, a decision will be made next week about what to do with me. I have volunteered to QA until my last day, but I'm not holding out much hope of that happening. Chances are, I'll be directed back to the phones. Which means I'll continue bringing belongings home this week.

2. & 3. That wasn't my choice; I would have waited the week. I don't see a whole lot for me to help transition my agents into. They've switched teams before. Why the sudden concern? Then again...

4. I do care about my agents. I want them to succeed, I want them to enjoy their iJobs at Corporation X as much as they can. I can only do so much, but I can't *not* make the effort. If I really didn't care, I wouldn't have given the 2 weeks notice. I would have packed up my shit and left.

So being in limbo sucks. Dealing with TDMH sucks.

But hey. I've got two tax checks coming and we get paid on Friday. I really don't have much to worry about -- except boxing up my stuff and departing Corporation X.

horoscope

Almost forgot. This is from Tuesday.

Daily Horoscope by Astrology.com Tuesday March 6, 2007
Aquarius
Is it time to take your recent change in status public? Only you can decide if it's the right moment or not. Just remember: You're the one in the driver's seat. Rev it up or hit the brakes. It's your move.

Driver's seat. Heh.

I'll make my move. After you make yours.

89628

Hey, we're back to being a number again. And we're all about numbers, at this point.

T34m 1337 got a 16 for last week. Not bad. Overtime hours and service levels were the talk of the day, right behind the announcement that the hardest working man at Corporation X will be riding off into the sunset. But hey, everything happens for a reason, and his reasons are sound. Another atom, no, the nucleus, will be breaking free. Not for a few more weeks. But still.

Right now, 89628 has a gut feeling that things may not play out the "nice" way. But there's a back-up plan, as is always the case. Will 89628 depart Corporation X in roughly 64 hours (8 shifts!!) as planned, or will that number end up being quite a bit smaller?

The numbers know. They always know.

•••

A situation doesn't become favorable until you adapt to it.

Too true. Tough to find the favorable in today. The fight or flight instinct was in full force. The gut says leave, the mind says stay, do the right thing for your team. But really, what is the right thing? And the right thing for who?

The decision to leave is completely for me. It's about my financial survival and my plans for the future. It's about stability, paying off bills, getting my stuff out of storage and finding a decent place to live. It's about making what I'm worth. Yes, it's about money. It's about vacation time and benefits, getting my teeth fixed and new glasses.

The negative vibes are tough to fight. My instincts haven't let me down in a long time. I'm prepared for what's coming. The move has been telegraphed through inaction. Bring it on.

I'd write more, but the migraine hasn't gone away yet. Tomorrow is an early day, which means I get to leave early.

Sixty-four hours left of being 89628.

Sixty-four hours to freedom.

Or less. Who knows.

TDMH

Dear Corporation X Thumb-dick Monkey Humper,

Why don't you stop being a big, fat, blubbering vagina (a la Bill O'Reilly) and tell me what you really think? If you don't fucking want me to be there, knock off the passive-aggressive bullshit and ask me to go.

I have tried to do the right thing by giving my two weeks notice -- in a right-to-work state where I can quit as quickly as you could fire me -- because it's the right thing to do. I did it for my team, and for the person I work for. I didn't do it out of loyalty to you, because we know you don't deserve my loyalty, or that of any one else for that matter. I did it for my team, and to help train my replacement, which I guess won't be happening.

You think attrition sucks now? Force me out early and see what happens. There won't be any coercion on my part; agents aren't as dumb as you think. They see what's going on and will react accordingly. And whether you care or not, many of them will be leaving. Why? They hate your ass. And a surprising number of them are sorta fond of me.

What you fail to realize is that the meltdown is coming. We've reached critical mass. I'm getting out before the bomb goes off. I'm getting out before my reason for staying at Corporation X rides off into the sunset.

Now, I'm sure this sounds like sour grapes, and I'm sure this will hurt your feelings. But let's examine what you've done to inspire loyalty from your employees.

1. Through ineptitude with (gasp) interpersonal communication, you have alienated most, if not all, of your administrative staff. Many of us would rather talk to each other, or the one person above us who will listen, to resolve issues rather than going to you. You rule through intimidation and fear. You use public humiliation as a means to get your way, and seem to enjoy belittling your employees. You're a bully. Then again, why should we expect you to communicate with us, when you failed at communicating with your best friend -- who also happened to be your roommate?

2. You're out of touch. Maybe if you'd open your door and show some genuine concern for your agents and supervisors, you'd get better results. When was the last time you were out on the floor when it wasn't for show? And let's talk about you walking the floor last week in front of company. If that wasn't one of the more pathetic things ever. Maybe if we thought you were doing it because you cared we wouldn't ridicule you. Or not.

3. You play favorites. You've coached just about all of us about the importance of appearances and how we need to appear neutral. Yet you're the worst offender. You've got your little clique, your followers. I don't give a fuck if you're "really funny" outside of work and "not that bad" in a social setting. If I don't like working with you, why the fuck would I want to take the time to know you socially? We're not even going to get into who/what you've supposedly fucked. I'd rather not vomit all over the Powerbook.

4. You're passive aggressive. Yes, I touched on this in my opening, but it bears repeating. You can't be an effective leader if you make us play guessing games. You act like you're all powerful and control our futures. But really. I heard what you make a year, and on that salary, you've got no right to swagger around the way you do. Not when you're so flawed as a leader. Honesty works with most of us. You should try it some time.

Certainly, this list could go on, but why belabor the point? Gawd knows it would just make you cry.

We're not without loyalty, just not toward you. The person we're loyal to is the buffer between us and you. He's the guy who must make about $5/hour because of all the time he spends at work, and all the time he spends at home working. He's the guy who's always been honest and up front with us, the guy who works his ass off and gets nothing in return. He's our nucleus. He's the reason why I've stayed for as long as I have. You, on the other hand, are the reason I can't stay.

Your actions, or lack thereof, make it very difficult for me to continue doing the right thing. My gut says you're going to insist on being a dipshit and put me back on the phones for my remaining time at Corporation X, which is not acceptable. I'm not there to help you make numbers so you look good for the client. I'm not there to be your bitch.

I don't like the idea of splitting up my team, but really, they're at your mercy at this point. It would have been nice to train someone to lead them after I'm gone, but oh well.

So we'll see what our noon meeting brings. I'm sure you've got some interesting things to discuss with us.

I guarantee that I'll still go out on my terms. That's the one thing you won't win at. I either go out on a high note, attempting to keep things classy, or I'll go out and everyone will see you for the cocksucker you are. It's your choice. You do still have an amazing amount of control in all of this. I just don't have faith in you to do the right thing.

I'm ready for a fight. Are you?

Signed,
89628

P.S. You'll get your iPod back. I want no ties to you, and refuse to be beholden to you in any way, shape or form. I'd shove that $300 technological marvel up your ass, but there's no room -- thanks to the roll of quarters you carry in your rectum.

P.P.S. When I begin my job at XYZ Inc., I will make a little less than you. Within 6 months, I'm confident I'll make more than you and will have the pleasure of not dealing with you. Now go off to your corner and cry.

Mmmm.... naughty

Hahahaha...

Your Final Score:
56.8% How pure are you?

Where do you go...

When The Stars Go Blue
Ryan Adams
Dancin' where the stars go blue
Dancin' where the evening fell
Dancin' in your wooden shoes
In a wedding gown

Dancin' out on 7th street
Dancin' through the underground
Dancin' little marionette
Are you happy now?

Where do you go when you're lonely
Where do you go when you're blue
Where do you go when you're lonely
I'll follow you
When the stars go blue

Laughing with your pretty mouth
Laughing with your broken eyes
Laughing with your lover's tongue
In a lullaby

Where do you go when you're lonely
Where do you go when you're blue
Where do you go when you're lonely
I'll follow you
When the stars go blue

Go-time

How much to say? How little to say?

*sigh*

For now, we'll say that change is afoot. It will be good for me, maybe not so good for some other folks. I know it's going to create a ripple effect; I think that would've happened regardless of my decision.

Nothing like being the first domino in the chain. Or the unstable atom that starts the implosion. No, I didn't start the implosion. That's been coming. I'm the one of the atoms that broke free.

I'm being deliberately cryptic. The one person who needs to know has the information. But really, I don't want myspace to be the information source on this one. So I'll be patient about commenting directly for a few days.

What I will say is something I've maintained for the past few years: I will not settle. I will not compromise my beliefs or who I am for a pay check or a company that isn't loyal to me. My loyalty is to my team. My tattoo is proof of my loyalty to a certain company; that loyalty transcends what I do for a living. That loyalty will remain regardless of where I work. That tattoo has *nothing* to do with where I work.

Anyway, it's time to kill shit. It's been a long, grueling, stressful week for me, mostly because I had to withhold information and put up a front. That's not me. It's too taxing, and I dislike playing games like that.

If things go my way, the way it was discussed, we'll be OK. Knee-jerk reactions won't help anyone and will do far more harm than good. I'm planning on being professional, and I expect the same from other, unnamed people.

But you treat me like a bitch, whatever happens is your own fucking fault.

P.S. Some of you know what I'm talking about. For those who don't and are curious, you'll know soon enough.

Excuse me?

Dear Corporation X Busybody,

You are not my mom. I don't need you telling me how to do my job. Not when you lack the technical aptitude to operate something as simple as, say, a pot holder.

Don't try to herd me into meetings, don't tell me to hurry up. Don't tell me how to do my job. Not when my agents like me and yours ... well, let's say they'd rather be on anyone's team but yours.

Don't give me pieces of paper with incorrect information. And then don't bring more pieces of paper that are STILL wrong. I can track my own data without your fucking help. I don't need a goddamned spreadsheet to tell me what I need to do. I won't go into "crisis mode" just because everyone else is. Cooler heads will prevail. Just because I don't announce my plan to the group doesn't mean I don't have one. I take care of my shit first, then help out as needed.

Don't whine about how you're not old enough to go out with the group. Maybe that's a sign that you shouldn't have the job you have. Did that ever occur to you? I know there are a lot of mature 20somethings out there, but guess what? You ain't one of em.

If I sound a little bitter, it's because I am. I don't like people who are promoted because someone feels like they owe someone something. It's the second time it's happened in our part of the project, and amazingly, you're a bigger failure than the first promotion that went down like this. I mean really, you make the other bitch look like a fucking MENSA candidate.

Never fear, the bitterness will pass. I'll have a countdown to Go-time, you'll pretend to be sad and then I'll leave and you'll stab me in the back just like everyone else. But hey, I'll be gone and won't care since I'll be making more money than you (which will always be the case) and continuing to live a happier existence because I don't have to pine for things beyond my reach.

Some people pity you, they even feel bad. I don't feel anything. Fear the sense of detachment. If I'm disinterested, you should worry. You're an annoyance, not a threat. People aren't impressed by your cheerleader-esque approace to life. People want to see results. I've delivered -- as an agent, and now as a supervisor. What the fuck have you done?

So really, little Ms. Foxtrot Tango, do us all a favor and keep your fucking mouth shut in meetings. Have you ever noticed how the whole room gets quiet after you blurt something out? It's because no one can believe that another human being would actually let such poorly formed ideas escape. Think before you speak. Or better yet, speak when spoken to.

Until then, how about we set a place for you at the kids' table? That way, you can stay out of the way and let the grown ups do the real work.

Fucking amateur.

P.S. Leadership is a skill, not a position.