Huck the folidays

I like the holidays.

Well.

Hmmmm....

I like family. I like eating. I like presents. Yeah, I'll admit that. (So send me stuff, k?)

I hate the commercialization. And I'm not just talking Christmas. It's all of them. New Year's. Valentine's Day. St. Patrick's Day. Easter. Memorial Day. Independence Day. Labor Day. Halloween. Christmas.

Chuck Fristmas.

Right. Back the truck up. I know. But those of you who know me should know where this is headed. I think. But yes. A rewind is required.

The Halloween party was last weekend. It was great fun. And the best costumes were the ones people made themselves -- I thought Justin's was the best (not just because the party was at his place, or because he grilled meaty treats!) because you knew he spent time on it. Tami's was the most interactive (she was an Etch-A-Sketch); Dawn's cracked me up (she was Operation). And there was Jim, who went as himself -- with a mask that was about 1.5 times bigger than his head. I laughed every time I looked at him. I was a Mac, and Scott was ... a PC. For work, I went as Mario, complete with penciled on mustache and eyebrows. And two plungers. Yeah. Definitely two plungers for the office.

I spent a lot of time looking for costume components, mostly because I had no clue what I was going to be. I hit both Halloween stores in town, and both sucked hard. I didn't go to the Costume Shop because I knew it would be a zoo. And deep down, I wanted to put it together myself. Which I did. Still, I had to look at the stores, just to reaffirm my belief that I could put something together for much less than if I bought something made by slave labor overseas.

But in the process of seeking out costume parts, I was disgusted to see all the shit they peddle for Halloween -- the same holiday the right-wingers despise because they say it's satanic and promotes evil. I think that's a blog for another day. Anyway, knowing this, there was a part of me that was pretty happy about Halloween exploding into this commercialized success because it makes a certain portion of the populace cringe. But I digress.

The capper for me came Halloween night when we were taking the boys home after they went trick or treating with some friends.

If you've been to Boise, you know there are some very nice houses along Warm Springs. They decorate for Halloween and Christmas. And if you want the big-ass candy haul, this is where you go.

But it was about 9 p.m. and most of the folks were done. Except for a few groups that were dragging around some wee ones who should've been in bed hours before. It was enough for us to launch into a whole production about parents who exploit their children for Halloween candy. Or force them to parade around in costumes they want the kids to wear, forgetting that the child should have some input.

[The scene: A parent and child are trick or treating. It's quite late. The child is 5 or 6, and is quite tired.]
Child (in a very tiny, timid voice): Can we go home?
Parent: NO! You get up to that porch and you take that candy from that stranger!
Child: But you said not to take candy from strangers...
Parent: You get up there and get that candy. I did NOT spend all that time in line at the Costume Shop buying you that costume for you NOT to trick or treat until I've gotten my money's worth!
Child: I hate Halloween *sniffle*
Parent: Princesses DO NOT CRY!
Child: I wanted to be a cowboy...
Parent: Dammit, Johnny, you will wear that princess costume and enjoy it!
Child: I wanted to be a cowboy and tend to my herd of free-range, organic cattle...
Parent: Will you get off it?! EVERYONE wants to be a princess!
Child: But I'm a little boy!!
Parent: IT WAS WHAT THEY HAD LEFT!
Child: I hate Halloween

It was all down hill from there.

Retailers start the Christmas push in June or July, or whenever Hallmark puts out the ornaments for that year. Yes, I'm guilty of buying them that early, but they were Star Wars ornaments, OK? I'm a victim of marketing, I know.

There is so much crap out there for you to buy to "get into" the "holiday spirit." Shit for your yard, shit that lights up, shit that plays music, shit for your dog, your cat and your fish; shit for your plants, shit for your car. Shit for your shit. Red and green shit, most of it.

I've always had a problem with Christmas music. I want to hear it, maybe one week out of the year, if that. If the Vandals are playing it, yeah, I can listen just about any time. But they won't play the Vandals holiday songs in public. I don't give a shit about decking halls in October. I'm sure as fuck not going to be holly and jolly at the mall. Fuck the mall.

I tend to buy things for people all year if I have the money. I don't need a holiday to purchase something for someone. I just need the mood to strike and I'm good. I don't need a countdown telling me I have 49 shopping days to Christmas. As I've gotten older, I appreciate the holidays for family and friends, not for how much I can spend on a gift.

I think I've run out of steam on this one, at least for the day. I've got more to say on the topic, but we'll save that for later.