Expectations

I don't shop a lot online. I'm not opposed to it, I'm just more impulsive and would rather have the item in hand instead of waiting for it. Instant gratification, that's me.

I ordered a jacket online a few weeks ago. It wasn't what I really wanted and I needed a different size. I sent it back the next day to exchange it for the one I wanted to begin with. Tuesday, I got an email saying my new jacket was on its way and I'd have it the 28th. Cool. I could live with that.

Today, I checked FedEx's web site to see where the package was. To my surprise, the tracking number indicated it was delivered at 11:45 a.m. Funny. I didn't see a package when I went to get the mail. I looked around, asked the roommates, no package. So I called FedEx.

I don't have high expectations for customer service. I know how we do things at work, and I know why the company gets good marks. The rep I talked to was someone named Farina, and I couldn't understand her. A sense of dread filled my stomach.

I ended up repeating my situation three times. It wasn't a case of her trying to gain agreement with me (something we do at work with our customers to make sure we know what we're trying to troubleshoot), rather, it was that she just didn't understand the words coming out of my mouth.

She launched into this response about how the depot would have to call me and that I would have to wait until they could talk to the driver and find out what happened with my package, that she showed being delivered to the front door at 11:45 a.m.

"Yes, I know it says the package was delivered. I am telling you it's not here and I want to know where it is."
"So you don't have package."
"No, I'm calling because I want to know where my package is."
"It shows it was delivered at 11:45 a.m. to the front door."
"Yes, I know that. I'm calling because IT IS NOT HERE."
"Your name is Jen?"
*sigh*
"OK, well 1125606...."
"What number is that?"
"It is 1-1-2-5-6-0-6 --"
"No, what is the number for??"
"It's your (mumble) number for (mumble)."
"Um, yeah. Usually, if you have information to give your customer, you should let them know that they should get something to write it down on."
"You can write it on whatever you like ma'am."
"Just give me the damn number."

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the shipping carrier to know where the fuck my package is. It's their job to know. I called FedEx several hours later because they had set up the expectation that I'd be called that afternoon. But Farina was too busy chatting with her co-workers and giggling to do her job properly. The second rep I spoke to was pretty nice. I let her know I had an unfavorable experience and she was apologetic during the whole call. I suppose I should point out that English wasn't Farina's first language, but I think she was from the shallow end of the gene pool to begin with.

But language does bring up an important point. If your job is to talk to customers on the phone, it's my expectation that you'll be able to understand simple requests and give intelligible answers. It's my expectation that, while I'm on the phone with you, you will give me your undivided attention and you will work to resolve my issue. I know that's how I treat my customers. But dog damn... if you can't speak the language, how does that help me? About as much as if I tried to assist someone who didn't speak English.

When I worked at Flying Pie, we had something called "Above zero... and rising." It's the principle that your customer comes in with no expectations, or they expect very little. If you provide exceptional service to begin with, that leaves a lasting impression. It takes very little effort, which is why I can't understand why more people can't do it. It's greeting the customer, smiling, being cheerful... things most of us do anyway. Amazing a little pizza joint in Boise can do something a multi-billion dollar corporation can't.

Keeping with the "Above Zero" theme, I had the pleasure of an emergency dental visit on Wednesday. I had Angry Tooth, the molar with a hole in it that was causing great pain and making me even more unbearable to be around. I went to the dentist for the first time in at least 10 years. I expected a root canal and a HUGE bill. Instead, I got a filling and paid less than $200. The dentist did a great job, her assistant was awesome, and they've got a repeat patient -- all because they exceeded my expectations by providing the same kind of professionalism they give all of their customers.

It's such a simple thing. It's amazing how many people/businesses fuck it up.