Too old, too young?

I was thinking about how much I’ve changed the past six years. Right now, I’m the same age someone else was when we hooked up. Six years is and isn’t a long time. A friend said that it’s a shame my marriage didn’t last for how long we were together. I’ve got other friends who have said it’s a good thing I wasn’t married for very long. The same friend — who is a year older than me — said that by the time you get to be our age, you should have a pretty good idea what you want in a relationship, what you want out of life. People get married too young, he said, and without knowing what it is they really want.

He doesn’t think I was too young, but folks in that 19-24 range might be a little on the young side. I don’t think I was ready to get married when I was 24. I was 28 and I felt like I was old. I feel old now, too. Then again, I think about how he’s 33 and I’m 32, and I don’t feel old at all. It’s tough to explain, and I don’t know if i ever make sense at this hour. I guess I look at his maturity level right now and compare it to the ex, and it’s not a fair comparison. Two completely different people, different upbringings, different approaches to life. I’m not second guessing myself at all about my marriage; I’m just surprised at what I’d like to find in a guy. Maturity is pretty high on the list, and that doesn’t necessarily have to be because he’s a lot older than me. It’s all about life experience and perspective.

Then again, I’ve done a lot of growing up since June 18. And Tuesday will be a month since the divorce was finalized. It’s gone by awfully fast. It doesn’t even seem like it’s my life. None of it does these days. I need to think about that some more. Tired. Still have 3 more days of work left... at least we get paid this week. Thank god. Doesn’t change the fact I’m probably going to have a long Tuesday and Wednesday. I can feel it.