I was married? And more haiku!!

So here we are, two years from the day my life changed.

It's tough for me to believe it's only been two years. I can't believe I've been with Scott this long and I can't believe the ex-person has been out of my life since August 2004.

I'm not going to do a lot of rehashing here. I know how I felt that night. I know how I felt those weeks waiting for the divorce to be finalized. I know how I felt the last time I spoke to the asshat in person. And I know how I feel without him in my life.

Honestly, there are very few days that go by where I don't think about the marriage or the divorce. It was a decent chunk of my life and easily the most traumatic event I've been through. But when the memory drifts over those tidbits, it doesn't linger for long. And really, many of those thoughts aren't ... warm or fuzzy. When the ex-person comes up in any conversation ... well, I'll still try and be the better person. If you know me, you have an idea what context he'd come up in.

This isn't a sad day any more. I can look at where I was, and where I am now and dammit, I'm proud of myself. I don't take pride in a lot of things; I can count them on one hand: Writing, photography, painting (see the Thunderhead in my heroes section) and being me. Popular opinion doesn't matter. I'm going to stand for my beliefs. If the rest of the world goes along, great. If not, that's not my problem.

There's absolutely nothing for me to be sad about any more. I've got an amazing man in my life. I can't stress that enough. He's a great friend and lover, a wonderful parent, a talented musician (plays bass and guitar) with a beautiful singing voice. He's the anchor in my life, and his family has welcomed me into the tribe (I get yelled at too, so I qualify as "family" now). He helps me keep perspective, he makes me laugh. He lets me be myself.

I don't know if I'll get to the point where I can let this date pass without remembering. I was conscious that it was approaching, but didn't count down to it like I did last year. I've got other things to focus on right now, and they're all life-changing events.

At the risk of sounding overly dramatic and cliché, this was my D-day. Yeah, I lost the battle, but fuck if I'm not going to win the war.

And remember: Past behavior determines present or future behavior. In other words, once a cheating sonofabitch, always a cheating sonofabitch. Kinda sad he won't ever see that. Too bad it's not my problem.

Forget what I said about being the better person. Here's some haiku...

Cheating SOB
Won't ever change behavior
He'll find another

Like a busy bee
Pollenating everything
That shakes it his way

Living well really
Is the best revenge ever
I've got a real man

Bitter man may see
This entry in my journal
Yeah, he's on myspace

Here's something just for
The ex-person to chew on
Look! Middle finger

OK, I need to stop. This has gotten way silly and will spiral further out of control if I don't stop.

Then again, I *could* take requests.