A good fit

"What the hell are you doing in Idaho?"

There are a couple of different ways to view this.

1. This isn't how it was supposed to end up; I'm not supposed to be here.

2. In the 16 years since graduating from JFK, a lot of things had to happen for me to be where I am now.

A few years ago, I would've viewed the situation spelled out in Choice No. 1. Today? Here's the part where I get to tell you why Choice No. 2 fits a little better.

I don't have a perfect life. I don't have a lot of money. I don't have a great job. What I do have is a great group of friends and wonderful man who believe in me and are my support network. My family has never pointed fingers or asked, "Why haven't you done anything with your life?" They've supported my career choices and my decision to move to Idaho -- and my choice to stay here.

Sixteen years ago, I knew I wanted to be a journalist. Ten years ago, I was a correspondent for the San Francisco Examiner, on the verge of my first full-time sports writing gig. Five years ago, I was happily married and the assistant sports editor for the paper up here. Things were pretty well on course. I had a good crew on the sports copy desk and was guiding them in a new direction in terms of design. I was hot off helping layout and design U.S. Open coverage for the Monterey County Herald. The golf tournament was my swan song for that paper, where I had been since 1997 and where I met my future -- and ex -- husband.

Then it was off to Idaho, to the job I had been pursued for (out of the blue) by the Idaho Statesman. This was the job that would be the stepping stone to bigger and better things -- the five-year plan that would get me to a bigger paper, hopefully, back in California.

It didn't happen that way.

In January 2002, I was part of a group of reporters and editors who were laid off at The Statesman in a cost-cutting move that ended up netting the executive editor a President's Ring from Gannett. So it was out of newspapers and into retail -- something I had managed to avoid, even while in high school.

My post lay-off job was selling video games. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I worked at Software Etc. for more than a year, picking up some pretty cool friends along the way.

Back then, gaming was a HUGE part of my life. I got into collecting RPGs and played Phantasy Star Online as often as I could. I started frequenting the Video Game Trading Post, which specialized in used and vintage games, and got to be pretty good friends with the owner. In the course of hanging out at VGTP, I met some pretty cool people. In June 2003, after 16 months at Software Etc., I started work at VGTP. It was while at VGTP I got to know (and experience) Scott, the only guy I'll ever need/want/love.

Anyway, I stayed at the Post until April 2004, when I was let go to make way for the return of John, the store's founder. June 2004 rolls around, the husband says he's leaving me for another woman and all hell breaks loose. After a month of depression and not eating, I managed to get things right in my head. I had a line on a job and knew the only person I was interested in hanging out with was Scott. Divorce papers were filed and 21 days later (yeah, it's that fast up here), I was single -- two days into my new job as a copy editor at the Idaho Press-Tribune.

It was good to be back in newspapers. It was a much smaller operation than I was used to -- smaller than any of the papers I interned with -- and I knew I wouldn't be there for long. Ended up working with a few ex-Statesman employees and made some good friends while I was there. I was at the IPT for 10 months -- six months as news editor. We did some good work, or I thought it was good at the time. Then I decided I was done. After 16 years in newspapers, it was time to try something else. Amazing that one woman could get me to change my mind about the one career I thought I'd have until retirement.

The plan was to go to school and learn how to be a network administrator, to get my MCSE and CCNA and then get a job. That plan didn't work, either. After attending classes and picking up ANOTHER gaming habit (one that involves painting pewter miniatures and pushing them around a table) it was time to find work -- in yet another industry I had avoided through high school and college: food service.

But it wasn't just any restaurant. It's the best pizza place in Idaho: Flying Pie Pizzeria. I did production, sales and prep. I met even more cool people, co-workers and customers alike, and learned how to be pretty good with a knife in the kitchen. I learned how to throw dough and make sauce in 40-pound increments. I discovered that Pecorino Romano comes in 60-pound wheels. Fun job, great people, not enough cash to live on. So I decided tech support could be fun -- especially supporting iPods. iPod support led to a job supporting iBooks, Powerbooks and Macbooks, which is where I am now -- a very long way from where I thought I'd be after walking across the stage at the Richmond Auditorium.

It's not all bad. Yes, the job could be better. It should pay more. Customers shouldn't be so stupid. No, this isn't what I went to school for. But it works for now. I'm content being happy in my love life and my social life, areas that suffered while I was married. I've met so many more interesting people since the ex-person is out of my life. Simple things make me happy. Family is very important to me; I kind of turned my back on them when I was married. I feel at home here, especially since I've been adopted by Scott's tribe.

In a way, I've gotten a second chance. I'm not settling any more, at least not in a relationship stand point. Job and money will come, eventually. Despite ending up with all the goodies in the divorce, I know there's more to life than material goods. I don't measure myself by my possessions. I'm not trying to fill a void in my life with inanimate objects or the latest, greatest gadget.

Funny, I've held off on what happened after graduation. I guess I don't feel there was as much personal growth. Or I don't remember much from it. Or don't want to remember.

That's not entirely fair. One of the best things I did for myself was going to CCC. Spent five semesters there in one of the best journalism programs in the country. I built a solid journalism foundation there at The Advocate. I got to play college basketball for two years. After CCC, I ended up at San Jose State. Was in the marching band, which was pretty fun. Hooked up with (yeah, I know) a tuba player, who was also the second of three bass players I'd end up dating. Got an sports writing internship in Modesto, a copy editing internship in San Antonio, dropped out of school to move to San Antonio. Came back to San Jose after a year and began working for the Examiner.

So yeah. That's a pretty anti-climatic ending to a relatively boring tale. There's obviously more to it, but I've got other blogs for that. The bottom line for me is that things could be better, but they could be worse.

As much as I had tried to fight it, this is home. It just took the right man for me to believe it. That's what the hell I'm doing in Idaho.