Been pretty busy with work lately, which is part of why I haven't made the time to post anything here. That, and World of Warcraft. Oh, and the social life, which probably needs to be defined simply as "life" since it's not just the social aspects of the relationship. It's the complete package, it's the feeling you read about and hope will happen to you some day. It doesn't have boundaries or weird expectations. It's incredibly deep and limitless at the same time. It goes beyond anything you thought you could feel toward another person. It's amazing and scary at the same time. It's a roller coaster. And it's great.
I mention all of this because it's what's keeping me sane right now. I need to have something in my life going well, something I can count on to be good. It's my "happy place" for when things take a bad turn. It's neat to have someone who helps you feel centered; now I know what people mean when they say their spouse is their "anchor." I've always been too independent and egotistical to think I needed anyone's help. It's like that trust exercise: Your partner stands behind you and you close your eyes and fall backward, trusting them to be there for you. Being there is good, but there are different reasons why someone could be in that position. I don't necessarily want someone who feels obligated or duty-bound to be there. Be there to catch me because you want to be there; be there because you love me and I'm important to you. Don't do it because you're "supposed to." That's the biggest difference between the ex and my guy. It's superficial vs. genuine; it's material vs. substance. Nice to know perspective is still a scary thing in my world. But I do enjoy figuring these things out.
Another gadget has caught my eye. Partially because it's really cool and partially because I've come to recognize the limitations of my current camera gear. My SLR is 20 years old. My digital camera, while 3.2 megapixels and quite nice, can't do what I want it to do. So I've decided to take the plunge and buy a digital SLR. This will delay the purchase of the Mac mini, but if I get the camera — a Nikon D70 — before the end of March, I can get a $100 rebate. If I buy the kit online, I can get the body, kick-ass lens, bag and 1 GB flash card for what it would cost to buy it locally. Oh, and $10 overnight shipping. So I'll be saving up and should have the new baby here maybe at the beginning of March. And I'm going to register a business name, so that in the event I get some work, I can write off this stuff. We'll see how that goes.
It's just six days after the inauguration, and I'm already tired of people spouting off about the "mandate" and why it's good we're in Iraq. Last time I checked, 3 percent is not a mandate; that's awfully damn close. And don't spout off that shit about how Dubya got the most votes ever. He also had the most votes cast against him of any presidential candidate. He also begins his second term with the lowest approval rating of any president. So cram it.
After looking at all of those damn inauguration pictures (and I will have to admit, our front page kicked the shit out of the "big paper" here), I felt the need to do something, anything in protest. I did my little economic boycott on the 20th, and will be consulting the list at buyblue.org (linked over there on the right) on a regular basis. But I wanted to do something a little more concrete, so I ordered some anti-Bush bracelets online and some pro-blue state bracelets as well. Can't wait to have someone say something to me at work about it. If they're offended, then maybe I'll say I'm offended by people who wear crosses as jewelry since I'm not Christian. We'll see. That would be an interesting chat to be sure …
Current musical fixations: Stone Sour (thanks, Scott!), AFI, Fix8
Caffeinated beverage of choice: Diet Rockstar
Snack food: Flavor blasted Goldfish (Xtra cheddar) and SmartFood (cheddar popcorn)
Coming soon: Defiant Designs + Visual Arts; me with shorter, colored hair (yay!)
balanced
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