Phones, the bathroom and you

I've accepted that cell phones are a way of life. I don't have a land line, got tired of paying Qwest and like the convenience of having the phone with me, where I have the option of answering or not.

I try to be a good cell phone person. I don't talk in the car much. I don't talk when I'm in line at the store. I don't talk loudly because I don't think my conversation is the center of attention, and I know those around me don't care either.

Above all, I don't talk on the phone in the bathroom.

The bathroom be it in your home or somewhere else is one of those places where you're there for a specific task. Get it done, get out. I don't want to hear you arguing with your significant other or bitching at one of your kids when there's a much more important call to be answered the call of nature.

How would you like to be the person on the other end of the phone? Yeah, you're important enough that Bitchy Barbie is taking time out of her busy schedule to make time to call you while she's taking a shit. If that's not true love, or friendship, then what the hell is?

Bitchy Barbie: "Hey baby, I only have a few minutes, but I just called to say I love you"
[brrrrrraaaaappppp]
Flaccid Frank: "Oh thanks, hon... I'm kinda busy too, but I love you. How's your day going?"
Bitchy Barbie: "Not too bad. [grunt] I had a vending machine burrito for lunch. It's kicking my ass right now."
[brrrrrrrrrpppppppppt]
Flaccid Frank: "Holy shit, baby. Was that you?"
Bitchy Barbie: "Yeah, sorry. I'm in the can. I told you that burrito was kicking my ass."
Flaccid Frank: "It's OK. You'll never guess where I've been all morning."
Bitchy Barbie: "Where?"
Flaccid Frank: "In the shitter. Long enough to watch four episodes of "The Office" on my iPod. God I love that thing. But I don't think I can feel my legs."
Bitchy Barbie: "Oh, I'm so sorry my little Poopy Prince. I'll see you when I get home, OK?"
[sound of toilet paper being pulled off the roll]
Flaccid Frank: "Can't wait, Boom-Boom Baby. Love you."
[fart][flush]
Bitchy Barbie: "Love you too."
[flush][brrrrrrrraaapppppphttttttffffttttt]

I'm not really OK with talking on the phone in the car, but I do it. Given the choice, I'll take that over hearing shit in bathroom.