Resolution

Haley has a home.

The couple I had hoped would be interested have her and things should go better for them than they did with me. I'll still get to see the kitten, since technically I'm the godmother (dogmother, in my world) and she may even make trips down to the game store, which would be cool.

That's a relief. She's going to a good home, and I don't have to worry about her.

On another front, some things have come to light that make that slow burn I've had since last week want to boil over. Lies and manipulation aren't acceptable. When you're doing that to your own flesh and blood... well, karma bunny's gonna kick you in the balls. Which can't happen soon enough.

No, this isn't something directly connected to me. It's a situation we wish we had more control over, but don't. It's a situation that could be solved in a lot of ways, none of which I'm going to go over in any kind of public forum.

In any event, it put me in a foul mood and convinced me I didn't need to go out tonight. Yeah, I know I've earned a night out with friends, but I'm cranky and don't need to be drinking. I've got a bottle here if the urge strikes. But I doubt it.

Instead, I'm gonna fire up the PS2 and let Cassie and Roscoe enjoy my company. And think fond thoughts of Haley who is just cute enough to keep that anger/depression from creeping in more than it already has.

Reconsideration

So after some careful consideration, I've reached a decision I don't like.

It's the problem you have when you go heart when you should go head. When you let "awwww.... so cute!" factor into your decision-making process. Yeah, I made a mistake.

The World's Cutest Kitten has been in my care since Monday. Since then, I've spent very little time with her and alienated my dog and cat -- although Roscoe is starting to come around. Anyway, Cassie, who has been with me since July 5, 1999, deserves better. She won't even come near me and ignores me. Roscoe, who I've had since January 2002, isn't nearly as offended as Cassie, but isn't quite sure what to make of little miss Haley.

Haley needs to find a home. It doesn't help that the roommates weren't thrilled with her; they said I should find her a new home. I'm not doing this for them; I'm doing it for Haley, who deserves better than what I can currently provide, and for Cassie, who was first and has been through A LOT with me. And for Roscoe, who is such a good dog and really doesn't need to compete with a kitten for my attention. He and Cassie have a good thing in terms of the way they play and interact; Haley throws it off a little bit.

I'm upset because I made a bad decision that affected my two most loyal companions, and a wonderful kitty who shouldn't be confined.

Don't talk to me about how it takes the better person to admit they're wrong. I know that. I just didn't expect to be as upset about deciding to give up a kitten that's been in my life since Monday.

Fucking softie.

OMG... kitten! >_<

That right there sealed the deal for me. Kitten on gaming table, playing soccer with a D20. Yup. Went to the game store, just like a normal Monday... and came home with a kitten.

Admittedly, a kitten is the last thing I need right now. But she's cute. Incredibly fucking cute.

Here's more proof:





Seeing as how the cat is a gamer, I knew that if I took her home, she'd get a gamer name. And if there was any doubt about me being a geek, this seals the deal: Her name is Haley, after Maj. Victoria Haley, who is a warcaster in Warmachine, the game we play on Mondays.

Why was she there? One of the women who works in the same shopping center as the game store was told, by her boyfriend, that it was him or the cat. I think she should've picked the cat. But yeah. Incredibly cute cat about to be homeless and me with a conscience. I was screwed the second I saw the kitten.

Geek factor: Confirmed. Softie factor: Confirmed as well. Dammit.

Survival

My work week is finally over.

It was hectic and lacking in accomplishment at the same time. Hectic because of some stuff that was announced Thursday, lacking in accomplishment because I'm not fully up to speed for my new position. I can do the people stuff and coaching just fine. It's the paper work and administrative stuff I need to wrap my brain around. No, I can't stand not knowing how to do something.

Watched an incredibly bad movie with Scott tonight... "Flesh Gordon." It has ascended to the Pantheon of Bad Movies in Jen's world. Wow. I mean really. Wow. The Moronosphere... worth it right there.

Must expose the man to more Kevin Smith. And "Office Space." Dear dog. He needs to see that.

No, I don't know why I'm still up. I'm still gonna play PS2, methinks...

P.S. Mini road trip went pretty well. Now we're waiting to see how younger son adjusts to being back home.

Accomplishment?

So I did get promoted at work. I was informed last Friday and it was made official Sunday (start of the new pay period). Management isn't new to me by any stretch, but this is different than anything I've done.

One of the best things about our project is there's quite a bit of team work. We pitch in to help each other out, though since I've still got training wheels, I feel like a burden more than anything else. I understand there's a learning curve, but I'm enough of a perfectionist to be annoyed by not knowing how to do everything. That's on me.

I'm confident in my people skills; I've definitely mellowed since my first stint in management... holy shit... 7 years ago? It's all about measuring where people are and helping them succeed by giving them the tools they need to do their job. That might sound like corporate bullshit, but that's something I've managed to figure out on my own. With any job I've had, if I've had everything I've needed to do the job, I've been successful. That isn't meant to be boastful, it's just proof that if you give a person the chance to succeed, most of the time, they will.

Management isn't about bitching at people or ordering them around. In the position I'm in now, I need to be an advocate for my team and help them succeed. Yes, there is a shit-ton of procedure, but chances are, if those are followed, they'll have an easier time with their jobs. Most of the time.

As for respect, it's earned. You don't deserve it because you have a title. The bosses I've respected are the ones who could do my job and anyone else's job. They aren't afraid to work and they lead by example. They know it's OK to say "I don't know" -- and then they find you an answer. There is no sense of entitlement. Entitlement. Yeah. That's another topic for another time.

Anyway, there was a part of me that didn't think I should be proud or excited about my current work situation. It's not what I went to school for, it's not even close to my earning potential. But it's a job, and it (mostly) pays the bills. More importantly, I've met some really cool people, people I want to stay in touch with. And no one has quit yet since they seem to be having fun -- even after a day like today when we were hammered from the start.

Those are the accomplishments I'm most proud of.

That, and the fact we kicked the living shit out of the queue today.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

So the bulletin thing isn't working. So no one will know I posted this blog. But the only purpose is to say that I've got a new top 12... all but one is local. Can ya guess which one?

I like the way the pictures look all neat and tidy. And I like the way I know all of the folks on my list there. I think I may weed out some of the folks who added me right when I joined myspace. Bands, sadly, won't make the top list any more, at least for now; I gotta show some folks some love.

The neat thing is that there is only one "entity" on the list (I don't count my own business as an entity, since it's just me). Had to get the Post into the top... without VGTP, I never would've met Scott!

Sleep now.... long day at work on the horizon and some other stuff going on that's set me to a slow burn... has nothing to do with myspace, so don't go looking for drama here. You won't find it.

Liberation... the continuation

This is a shorty... fighting a migraine...

So I got a faux-hawk today. Wasn't feeling brave enough for the real deal, though I thought real hard about it after Jenny finished my hair.

Funny thing is, it's something I never considered when I was growing up. The amazing thing is that I've discovered tattoos, punk rock and funky hair after the age of 30.

Liberation came almost exactly two years ago. The change in attitude and the positive mental outlook has continued as my relationship with Scott has evolved. Mom even pointed out that I'm more cheerful since he and I have been together.

I guess the main thing is that I'm comfortable with who I am, more so than ever before. That ain't a bad thing.

Besides... why grow up? It's all about me being entertained. And right now, I'm awfully damned entertained.